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the principality of donnaco
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2011|05:46 pm] |
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i am a terrible human being. |
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| night terror |
[May. 21st, 2011|10:03 pm] |
me and my frends were waking on the train track by my friends place (that track being significant as it has given me a panic attack before,long story), at 3 am. the sky was dark, but lit in this eerie way, reminsicent the way the mountains behind my friends house look at night when the stadium a ile away has all its lights on.
we were all wearing odd outfits, a lot of silk, velvet, deep purples, bordeauxs and gold. we were all singing and splaying instruments, and i was at the front of the group, singing and playing my friends accordion. we were dancing more than marching, and it was as if we were going to meet something, or were planning to do something. suddenly, the train tracks began to multiply, and there were infinite train tracks. i was three beautiful lights faaaaaaar in the distance and thought “how beautiful. what a beautiful train.” and right as i was preprepared to get off the tracks and get back to the sidewalk,where it was safe, the train came closer and closer VERY FAST, in a supernatural way, and the last thing i hear is my close female friend scream in horror. i was hit full force by the train,and i felt the excruciating pain-then, i was sort of lifted up and sucked into this black oblivion, as if i had been caught in a space ship beam and was being sucked into the ship. i just had this weird, light, lifting feeling, and like i was being stretched out and dissolved into particles, into nothingness. i was in the darkest black nothingness i have ever seen. at a point though, i could see these patterns, sort of like cut out paper dolls of snowflakes, in a dark forest green. i wasn’t conscious, really, but i was conscious enough to know i was in oblivion. i was basically a dot, a mist of tiny tiny atoms floating, being pulled further inward. that part was sort of beautiful.
the thing that REALLY shook me was that after i woke up for real, i had this distinct impression that there was something negative in the room, like some sort of negative being that was walking near/around me, or some sort of negativity pouring out of my body, whatever it was there was just EVIL in the room. i was petrified, and i wanted to cry, or scream, something. there was something evil, possibly attempting to hurt me, and i was very vulnerable. i fainted out of fear and went back to sleep. i swear to god i was fully awake, and i swear there was someone, something dark and evil in that room. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2011|09:46 pm] |
a friend asked me what my self-defense plans are due to the sexual harassment i experienced.
"a sawed off bb gun." |
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| either i was awake, dreaming, hallucinating, experiencing. |
[May. 15th, 2011|09:22 pm] |
last night i woke up suddenly, and tossed and turned between
one of my friends believes that part of my room is haunted, perhaps by a ghost, perhaps by energy, perhaps by someone stuck in time, or dimensions. my friend, m., thinks it best for me to not talk or think about it, to leave it be. i don't really mind it. there are knocks and noises daily,bad feelings sometimes, good feelings occasionally. usually i forget there may be something there.
i spent the hour or so going on into strange reveries, that would go off in strange but beautiful tangents. i was scared but enthralled.
one thing i remember:
"spirits, things of that nature, can travel through dimensions much easier than we can. their entire beings can fit through the tapestries of space and time.
they can shrink their forms down until they can easily slide between multiple layers of time and space.
humans can't do that as easily. we can expand and decrease our minds, our souls, but not our bodies or heads. we simply do not fit. we can get through some layers of space time fabric, but our experience is lacking."
as to prove a point, the spirit, or something, who was by my bed, shrunk down into a pin point, moved near my head. and began to descend down into a dimension.
whats weird is that when i thought of or sort of communicated with whatever it is that may or may not exist in my room, it would answer back. with knocks. with sounds. with feelings. i dont think it meant to scare me, if there was something there. i think it wanted to talk. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2010|12:36 am] |
not too far in time
i shared breath, no fear of drowning-
i floated softer than a lily in a sea of gauze,
and suddenly, i was shipwrecked,
my blood staning the coral red-
i was torn apart on barnacles rocks and teeth
dragged underwater again and again.
____
i was in pieces.
i was flotsam, jetsam, derelict and lagan.
i floated like a damned soul in a sea of nothing.
____
“rebuild” they command me-
“rebuild your spleen, your intestines, your gallbladder, your kidneys, rebuild your legs, but do not crawl, run.”
i begged them to let me sleep. to let me be a wretch and dissolve into the sea. to let me be motionless.
“rebuild your appendix, your lungs, your brain, your heart, rebuild your legs but do not crawl, run.”
i slept. for days. for years. paralyzed yet burning in a painful coma.
“rebuild.”
i awoke. i began to collect. i gathered fur, swamps, pearls, water fowl, nests, hives,decay, moonlight, seed pods, memories, moths. i began to rebuild my guts. my legs. with moss, with crystals, with a painful magic. |
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| to the land of the sun |
[Aug. 13th, 2010|08:41 am] |
i once drowned in the land of the sea-
i spent forty days and thirty hours underwater,
an infinity spelled out in the quiverings of seaweed,
in the sobbing of a mother who lost her child-
her tears entomb dead sailors.
my tears have been added to this
pulsating quivering sea
where i turned from pup into entity-
i became a mother who had lost a son,
who drowns travelers in an ocean of tears.
i no longer choke on salt and sputum,
my dreams are no longer saline.
i have awoken in a land of dead lakes and rivers,
where the light is made of needles,
a place haunted by rain and gaunt decaying memories,
a palace enrobed
with coyotes skulls,
dully glowing like loathsome pearls,
screaming their sorrows silently,
their bodies are dust but their smile is eternal.
i will be unwound,bleached,dried,crushed into dust,
and wait, silently, for the rain,
then i will be re-woven and vernal again. |
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| "brains!" keep calling the undead,my apologies to Hal David and Burt Bacharach |
[Jan. 23rd, 2010|11:57 am] |
(based on the song “raindrops keep falling on my head.” which i despise. so i improved it by re-writing it to be about fighting zombies.)
“brains!” keep calling the undead
i’m just the guy who battles the living dead
nothing makes them quit
“brains!” are calling the undead, they keep calling
………………….
so i use a chainsaw and a gun
because thats the only way to get it done
when zombies are in a mob
“brains!” are calling the undead, they keep calling
………………….
but theres one thing i know
that the zombies trying to eat me won’t defeat me
it won’t be long before before the zombies flee
………………….
“brains!” keep calling the undead
but that doesn’t mean i will be joining the living dead
zombie fighting is for me, cause
i’m never going to stop the zombies by evacuatin’
because the zombies
aren’t going to eat me
………………….
it won’t be long till the the zombies pack up and leave me
………………….
“brains!” keep calling the undead
but that doesn’t mean that i’ll let them eat my head
zombie fighting is for me
‘cause i’ll never stop the zombies by evacuatin’
because the zombies
aren’t going to eat me |
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| very trivial. very. |
[Jan. 21st, 2010|09:01 am] |
i'm contemplating a change in aesthetics,
i'd like to re-henna my hair red and wear all black. |
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| honk if you love diseases |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|11:17 pm] |
i lost my sense of taste! so weird!
it goes great with severe loss of appetite. thaaaaaaanks meds. |
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